Just had a really meaningful outing with my ex upper study yesterday. When he was still around in camp, I kept wondering how it would have been like without him, how the office environment would change. Yet, now...2 months after he has departed from the office, the environment has changed in too many ways for me to count...but 1 thing is for sure, he had a really inexplicable role in the upkeep of (at least my) morale in the office to a normal level. I wonder if it really is 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' but till this date, I do feel the gap left by him when he ORDed...What is left, is a group of people who are forced together by fate and not by choice, resulting in a really convoluted and twisted environment that is really mentally unhealthy.

After the meaningful session, he made me appreciate (to some extent) that I am in SAF...and the tribulations that I go through currently is merely a trial and one of the many milestone in my life that I can still afford to slip up and fail...Much as it is unpleasant for me to undergo punishment in SAF and to burn my time that I can spend 'out of camp' it would really be something meaningful as this period of trial has and would really test me and prepare me for future tribulations...

Looking forward to ORD now has both a pleasant yet uncertainty to the feeling now.. 3:08 PM

11:17 AM

My first time posting from camp...

Man, this is getting really depressing, not only is life in camp getting more down, I am somehow losing sight of any form of happiness anymore. Even though ORD these three letters are coming slowly but surely...but it sucks when people who seem to thrive in such a convoluted environment are putting me down...Even though he is not one to speak of unpopularity, but yet he is still ever as irritating as ever. pressures from different bosses are really still crushing and (almost succeeding)I'm barely coping with this onslaught of being squeezed from both angles.

There really is some form of delight to be had when one boss is not around, yet somehow I am not feeling so...I dread that this may have after effects that may be more persistent than I may like it to be...Going on facebook used to be at least an escape from this twisted and convoluted environment that I am forced to live in 5 days in a week. Truly this is unhealthy to my mental state. Depression seemed like an act not too long ago, however it has in recent times, start to, slowly but surely, becoming more a reality.

9:27 PM